Sunday, September 22, 2013

Backyard Intruders

"Paying the bills" is an everyday phrase.
We often overlook bills until they begin to gang up on us. I stress over a small pile on occasion, but for many of you crazy spenders, the stack never subsides. "The Bills" have become such a part of our lives, like wearing underwear or flossing before bed. I find it rather annoying.
What really gets me is hearing people speak of their expenses as if they have no control over them.
Before you go getting all pissy and defensive, I will disclaim that YES! we need to pay for necessities. Four walls with a roof, light at night (questionable), insurance, fuel, clothing, sustenance... yadayadayada. I understand. And it's okay if your necessary shoes happen to be ultra cool!
But the list goes coloring, mani/pedi?, new cars, lattes galore, style, toys, keeping up with who?, never eating leftovers, partying, elf on the shelf?, jewelry, storage space, digital storage space plus cellular plan- upgrades!- what the hell is going on here? Where did all this stuff come from?
What happened to going next door to borrow an egg or two, taking only what you need, natural beauty, patience is a virtue, seek and ye shall find.... where did these community building fortuitous acts go?
Well, I am officially ranting. Just when you thought you had me- I will admit I can be a bit negative. I can turn it around, I promise.
Ok, so the other night when I rolled into my driveway from work at a respectfully late hour, I was troubled by a bright glow coming from the backyard. It totally caught me off guard, and I actually sat in my car for a minute before turning it off and mustering up the strength to get out and stumble up my dark steps into the equally dark house. I was petrified. No lie.
As we all assume from past posts, there is never a light on when I arrive at home. That is a good sign. This night however, was not like others. Since my rather large bodyguard Zeus was on vacation that week (false), I dug deep for all the courage I had, and fumbled my way into the house, grabbing my 60 foot double shot mace gun on the way. (true)
Now we're talking. This shit could take out a T-Rex.
Liquid courage #2..... READY... AIM...
It was my backyard spotlight which I always have switched off because I don't need it, and it's crazy hard on the electric bill.
I crept toward the back room without a breath in my lungs. Finger on the trigger... poised for chaos, I thought, "Is someone messing with me?" My cat didn't reply. I opened the door- all was well.
Deep breath in, I formed a list of suspects (2), stashed my weapon, and grabbed a beer from the fridge.
Why do the kids continue to needlessly turn lights on? Besides it being habitual, I couldn't think of a thing.

But who cares, right?
Seriously, does it really freaking matter if a light or two are left on all day because we aren't teaching our kids to conserve? Does it really matter if I drop an extra $5 here and $7 there for coffee and bagels because I couldn't pack a PB & J? Who gives a shit if I upgrade my cell plan so that I can stay connected every single second of every single moment of every little breath I take? I do. I care. You should too. It's your cash. Or if I put it another way, it's your time spent, gone forever, while you are working for that money. It's your life. Think about it before you spend it. Check in with your money habits once in a while.

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